


Erratic Equilibrium

by printfogey



Category: One Piece
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-02
Updated: 2013-02-02
Packaged: 2017-11-27 23:42:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/667817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/printfogey/pseuds/printfogey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Luffy likes secrets, Nami likes balance, and Usopp thinks they’re all in over their heads. Post Thriller Bark, pre-Sabaody.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Erratic Equilibrium

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story a fair while ago; I think it was actually the first pairing fic I wrote for this fandom. It's been updated with some revisions now, but it remains a pretty light-hearted piece, influenced by older fics of polyamorous Strawhats by other writers. The original rating for it was PG-13, but on reflection that was too high: it's only PG, I think now. 
> 
> Originally this was one short prologue followed by two rather short chapters. The rewrite made the prologue even shorter, and I ended up putting them all together. (The original version can still be found at my Dreamwidth account if anyone's curious.) 
> 
> Spoilers/setting: The prologue is from after Water 7/Enies Lobby and before Thriller Bark; the rest of it is after Thriller Bark but before Sabaody.
> 
> All forms of feedback is very much welcome. This fic feels so old now I'll probably not end up revising it further in any depth, but concrit (nitpicks particularly) can still be useful.
> 
> Disclaimer: The characters and situations of One Piece was created and is owned by Eiichiro Oda. They are used here without permission for entertainment purposes only. This fic is not to be used for profit in any way.

prologue: equidistance

Luffy doesn’t mind secrets. Some secrets are just plain fun to have, when you know something someone else doesn’t, so you can grin and hint and laugh about it until they lose their patience and start chasing you. He never winds up having those kinds of secrets for long, they just tumble out of him soon enough without his quite knowing how it happened. But they’re still fun while they last.

Then there are other types of secrets that aren’t hard to keep at all, maybe because he doesn’t think of them as secrets too much. They are just things that happen that he can’t forget but that there doesn’t seem to be any point in talking about, either. They fall into him somewhere and drift down to the bottom and stay there. 

Kissing someone seems to be like a third type of secret, more like the first one than the second because it’s a bit like a game and it makes you feel good. But it’s easier to keep quiet about than the teasing secrets are. It's like not saying anything to anyone else is like holding hands but no-one can see it, and he kinda enjoys that feeling. 

Although when you think about it it’s not like he’s not holding invisible hands with all his crew, not just the two he’s played that kind of game with. But... he can’t explain why, it’s just different in some way. Not closer. Just different.

He doesn’t know why there’s only been those two so far but he doesn’t let it worry him either. For some reason, kisses seem to go with Nami and Usopp and not really with anybody else. At least not yet. 

Maybe that will change someday, with the others. It's hard for Luffy to picture with Zoro; it's like with Zoro it's more of a game of being as close as you can without needing to touch that way. But maybe that's just right now. Luffy doesn't mind, either way.

Nami, she’s the same as always, here on the new ship: laughing and kissing him back, or smacking him and telling him to get lost, or rolling her eyes with a sigh telling him not to be so damn silly. Or maybe she’ll sneak up and surprise him with a peck on the cheek, or hand him a tangerine and a long deep kiss while going through his pockets, or just give him that sly deep _knowing_ look only she ever does – or dozens of other things, all of them reliable and Nami-like and not confusing in the least, because he knows Nami.

True, sometimes it does seem she wants to do more than just kissing and touching and sometimes a little bit of rubbing, and sometimes Luffy thinks that would be nice and cool and probably really interesting. Only, so far she’s always seemed to changed her mind about that and said ‘okay, let’s stop for now’, so of course Luffy does stop, because it’s no fun if she doesn’t really want to go on. And besides, Nami's punches can hurt a lot when she's mad. But that part’s not new either. It’s just something else that Nami does.

But kissing Usopp is somehow different these days, because now he never takes the first step anymore like he would use to sometimes, back before Water 7. And he always flinches whenever Luffy starts kissing him. That doesn’t seem good. 

On the other hand he never says no or pushes Luffy away anymore either. And he always kisses back a lot stronger and almost hungrier than before. 

So it seems to be both a good and a bad difference. And that's just a little bit confusing.

Normally Luffy would just take the good stuff and run with it and not think about the bad stuff unless he absolutely has to, but

_‘Luffy, not everyone can live their lives by always only looking ahead the way you do!’_

he’s not sure he should do that when it comes to this.

So he waits. For what exactly he doesn’t really know. But since waiting feels like the right thing to do, he’s not worried.

 

*  
part one: equivocation

 

Time passed. 

There were creepy ghost ships and fearsome living skeletons; there were awful zombies and mad doctors, a shadow-stealing Shichibukai and a Nami-stealing invisible pervert; a crazy princess wielding negative ghosts and a _really terrifying immensely big giant_ with Luffy’s fighting strength and personality; there were terrible battles and far too much danger and getting-knocked-down-again-and-again-but-getting-up-to-fight-with-everyone-ness; then Luffy managed to defeat Gecko Moria at the nickest nick of time only to end up unconscious from overdoing his new techniques, which kept worrying Usopp. And then, just when they thought it was all over, an even more frightening second Shichibukai had turned up, knocking everyone out. 

Only to wake up with the Shichibukai mysteriously disappeared and Zoro close to death. But he'd pulled through, they all got rest; there was a big victory party and the no-longer-fearsome skeleton joined the crew as musician. There was music and silliness and dancing and later on, when Zoro was strong enough to travel, they set off from that huge floating island and were all back on course towards Fishman Island again.

And somewhere after all that had gone down Usopp's flinching stopped almost completely; and he started to get back the feeling that maybe it was all right to be kissing Luffy after all – secret, but still _all right_. Like maybe he was allowed.

And not too long after that, he began to feel pretty fed up with waiting.

 

*

The pen flew right across the desk to land somewhere on the floor. The inkhorn started to wobble dangerously and would quickly have submerged the chart Nami was working on with a ruinous flood of ink, had it not been for Robin’s sprouting hand deftly balancing it in the last moment. 

Well, that was only fair, thought Nami. It was all Robin’s fault in the first place, for blurting out unexpected things without the slightest preamble. 

She looked up at her tall crewmate, who was still standing beside the closed door to the study, leaning casually against the door-frame with her arms crossed. 

“Eh – that was a joke, right?” managed Nami. “Tell me that was a joke, Robin, or that I didn’t hear you right…”

Robin shook her head, smiling slightly. “It wasn't a joke. And I doubt you misheard me, Nami, your hearing is normally quite good.” 

It still sounded a bit odd to hear Robin call her by name. Somehow she still managed to sound more polite than anyone else.

Nami took a deep breath. “But you just sounded like you said, ‘Luffy and Usopp are fooling around on the gun deck’.” And wasn't that a rather crude way of putting it, at least coming from Robin? Maybe she was just out to shock Nami after all. 

Robin nodded calmly. “That is what I said, correct.”

“Are you serious?”

“Indeed. I happened to see them just now.” She shrugged, blooming an arm with those pretty little petals of hers flowing. 

“Oh,” mumbled Nami, wondering why Robin had felt inclined to use her devil fruit powers to spy on those two but not wanting to ask. She got up and went to pick up her pen from the floor, her legs just a little bit wobbly. 

In truth, she had always hoped she’d be able to take this kind of news about crewmates in a grown-up manner, all mature and blasé about it. Now she knew she’d failed utterly – and in front of Robin, no less. 

“We-well,” she said weakly. “Good for them, I guess.” Sitting down again, her fingertips began to draw useless, invisible circles on top of the sea chart in progress. “I hope Chopper doesn’t see it. It could scar him.”

“‘Scar’ might be a bit much,” said Robin. "But... I know what you mean. He's a doctor, but a very young one." She sat down on the spare chair. "No need to worry; he's reading the book I bought him in Water 7 on rare diseases at the moment, so I don’t think there’s any risk of that. I also hung up a sign that said the gun deck was closed off for the moment, due to work in progress.” She laughed a little, then shrugged. "Not that I expect them to go on that long about it, but just in case."

“Good thinking!” Nami gave her crewmate thumbs up. 

“Yes, well, I imagine Franky’s going to be rather curious about that.” Robin’s smile grew a tad more crooked. “But he’s still up in the crow’s nest, so plenty of time to worry about that later." She giggled briefly, then added more soberly, "Do you think there is anyone else whose reactions we should be concerned about?” 

Nami frowned. “Well, Sanji probably won’t care. Zoro... I'm not sure, but I doubt he'll be too troubled... kinda hard to say, though. Franky will just be, well. Loud. So we’d better not tell him.”

“Ah. Yes, I agree. And I would say the same goes for Brook.”

“Of course.” Nami nodded, then sighed, assaulted by a sudden headache. “So where is everyone now?”

“Zoro is training on the lawn and Sanji is in the galley. Brook was there too when I last saw him, trying to help out with potato peeling.”

“Ah, okay... Look, Robin, if you see Luffy and Usopp before I do, could you tell them I want to have a word with them here, in private?”

“Of course. No problem.” Robin nodded in understanding and turned to go.

“Wait!” Nami burst out. “Not right away, though – I mean even if they get up here real soon. Let’s say no sooner than an hour from now. Because, because I’m going to, um…take a bath now!” She nodded to herself. Bath, yeah, she liked the sound of that. A nice long bath would help her collect her thoughts. “Oh, and... thanks for telling me, Robin,” she added hastily, smiling back at the older woman in belated gratitude.

Robin just smiled at her again – a small and knowing but still rather fond smile, before ducking her head and strolling out. 

_And what would you do, if you were in my shoes, Robin?_ Nami couldn’t help but wonder, sitting alone at her drawing table again. Probably something quite thoughtful and incisive, and at the same time quite practical and worldly-wise, she thought with another little sigh. 

And probably _not_ something that felt far too aware and caught up with the thought of her captain and their sniper down there below deck right now. Because that was puerile and stupid, and Robin wouldn’t think like that, she was way too grown up. Not about them: they were such _boys_ , after all. 

She kept chewing the end of her pencil while staring out into the air in a distracted fashion, now and then muttering things like “No”, “Uh-uh”, “No way”, “Yeah, that could work” or “Well, maybe” to herself. Then after a good many minutes of pretending to work she got up, pulled out one of her drawers and looked at something inside. She nodded twice to herself with a firm expression. But she was biting her lips when she set off towards the bathroom to turn the tap on. 

Waiting for the tub to be full, she took a brisk stroll around the ship with the vague intention of checking that everything seemed to be okay, but without actually paying much attention to things. She was back in the bathroom and had already half undressed when she suddenly swore loudly, got her clothes back on and ran up to the bridge to check that they really were on course and that the weather was stable, as she should have been doing at least half an hour ago. She was all red in the face when she got back – Nami _never_ forgot about navigating, what was with her, honestly – and smacked herself on the forehead several times before stepping into hot bubbly water.

 

*  
part two: equipoised

“Ah, there you are.” Now in her study again, Nami looked up briefly and nodded at the two boys before turning back towards her charts. She would never admit to this to anyone, but she had actually tried out three different outfits after coming back from her bath, before finally settling on the most casual and workmanlike of them – faded blue jeans shorts and a simple sleeveless top with only one button left open at the top. No frills, nothing dazzling and fancy, just plain everyday hard-working Nami.

She looked back up at Luffy and Usopp, giving them a closer scrutiny. They didn’t really seem any different from usual to her eyes. Usopp looked nervous and a bit guilty, but not anymore than when he’d helped pilfering cookies or had an experiment destroy something moderately expensive. As for Luffy, he looked entirely like normal, with nothing even faintly remarkable about his expression or body language. 

“So what did you wanna talk about?” he was saying now, hands in pockets.

Nami put her chart away to the side and leaned back in her chair, legs crossed. 

“All right,” she began. “I would like to talk to you about something. Consider our little crew, if you will.” She waved her pencil around in the air in a magisterial way. “Despite the fact that it’s made up mostly by idiots and we tend to squabble and get on each other’s nerves a lot, still we manage to look out for each other and work together most of the time. Of course, we’re all pretty amazing, and you have me for navigator. But one thing you might not have considered” – her tone made it clear she was positive they had not – “is that we’re a pretty young group of people, and more than half of us are teenagers. You know what that means? Hormones, that’s what.” 

“Er... what are you trying to say here?” said Usopp, frowning at her. 

“Yeah, what?” said Luffy, picking his nose with a similar frown.

Nami raised an admonishing finger. “Hold on, I’m getting to it," she said. She coughed, then went on. "So. I doubt you’ve been aware of this, but it is my conviction that one of the things that have helped make this team work reasonably well is the fact that up until now, nobody here has been getting any. Not to my knowledge anyway, and I figure I’d know otherwise.”

She paused for a few seconds, just to let that hang there, then finished “…And now the two of you had to go and spoil all that.”

Usopp went extremely pale, then flushed bright scarlet. “Wh-what?” he managed. “I – I – I – I really don’t know what you’re talking about! Stop making such crazy allegations, woman–”

Nami gave him a flat look. “Give it up. Robin spotted you guys down on gun deck before.”

“Aaaaarrggh!” Usopp clenched his hands into fists and beat the air in frustration. “I can’t believe we’re found out _already_!!” he wailed. “Robin is such a sneak!”

“You guys really suck at being discreet,” said Nami. “But see, this kind of thing is something we smarter crew members – I’m talking about Robin and myself here, of course – need to keep track of. There could be trouble, you know. People might get jealous.”

Luffy blinked. “What, just because we’ve had sex?” He pointed at Nami, “We’ve never had it before, you know!" he declared righteously. "This was totally the first time!”

Usopp smacked him. “Shaddup! She doesn’t have to know that!” he hissed.

“Once is bad enough!” snapped Nami, crossing her arms. “As I said, it could mean trouble. It’s also self-indulgent as hell.”

“Really?” said Luffy, frowning. “Hey, you’ve never said anything like this when I’ve kissed you!”

Usopp started. “What? Wait a minute – you’ve been kissing Nami? ...For free?? Ow!”

Nami unclenched her fist and sat down again, frowning right back at Luffy. “I did too!” she protested. “That’s why it always _stopped_ with just kissing. I can’t help it if you won’t remember things properly. ”

“You’ve never said anything to me about kissing Nami!” exclaimed Usopp.

“Huh? Well, I didn’t say anything to her about kissing you, either. So it evens out.” Luffy nodded several times, satisfied with his reasoning.

“LUFFY!” yelled Usopp, clearly not satisfied at all.

Luffy turned back to Nami, “I thought you said it was because you didn’t want to get pregnant!”

“Well, I _don’t_ , of course,” Nami began, but now Usopp was poking Luffy in the forehead repeatedly and glaring at him. “You’re supposed to _tell_ people about things like that!” he scolded.

“But it was a secret!” protested Luffy.

“Well..." Usopp opened and closed his mouth, then grumbled sulkily, "...Well, maybe I would have liked to kiss Nami, too, ever thought of that?” He looked away, crossing his arms over his chest, cheeks still red.

“Anyway,” Nami picked up where she’d stopped, “yeah, that’s one reason too, but it’s just part of it.” Then she added with a thoughtful look, “Though actually, Robin got me some stuff you can use so there’s no risk of getting pregnant. I got some more at Water 7 too. Just in case.” She drummed her fingers calculatingly on the back of her chair. 

Usopp first looked puzzled, then slowly turned an even deeper scarlet. “Wh-what?” he quaked. 

Nami sighed theatrically and looked up toward the ceiling. “Well...” she said languidly, “now that you guys have already gone and upset the balance...”

“Wait a minute! Are you – are you saying –”

“Huh?” said Luffy, mildly curious. “Whatcha talking about?”

Usopp opened his mouth to say something, then caught Nami’s eye and nervously backed away, closer to the door.

Nami coughed. “Ahem. Don’t jump to conclusions now – this is all hypothetical. I’m just trying to make you guys think for once.” She gave them a sharp look. “As an example – let’s just say something like that _were_ to occur.”

“Like what?” said Luffy. Usopp leaned over and whispered in his ear. Luffy’s eyes widened and he grinned from ear to ear. “Well, that would be just great! Wouldn’t it?!” 

“But,” said Nami, “what do you think would happen once Sanji found out? He wouldn’t be very happy with you two, would he?”

Both boys got a frozen look about them, as this sunk in.

“Ah – ah – ah... THAT WOULDN’T BE GOOD!” shouted Luffy, sweating and wild-eyed.

Usopp began to run around the room in panic: “AAAAHHH! He’d try to kill us for sure!”

“HE WOULD! HE WOULD!” Luffy agreed, and started running as well.

“Yep, that’s pretty much it,” stated Nami calmly. “With some mutilation as a side dish.”

“He’d totally dismember us!” yelled Usopp. “He’d turn us into purée!”

Nami nodded. “Uh-huh. And he’d start feed you nothing but vegetables, too. No meat! No fish!” 

“NOOOOOOO!” cried Luffy, in the throes of dark despair.

“Gaah!!” wailed Usopp, but then he stopped to draw breath. “Wait a minute!” he exclaimed. “We’re getting worked up over nothing! We haven’t actually slept with Nami, so we’re safe!” Immensely relieved, he started to wipe sweat from his face.

“Ah, yeah. Right,” said Luffy, also wiping sweat away. Then his face lit up, “Whew, that was a close one! Ahahaha!” 

There was a loud snap as Nami broke her pencil in half. She got up and took a step towards Usopp, glaring at him. 

“Are you saying I’m not good enough for you, Long-nose?” she said dangerously. Actually, her brain tried to tell her, his reaction kind of made sense, but she ignored that and fumed instead. _Honestly, after all the trouble I've gone through...!_

“What? No – I just – Huh?!” 

She grabbed him by his overall straps, still looking angry as hell.

“Then stop acting like it,” she growled. And kissed him. 

Usopp wailed, “What kind of crazy – Mmf. Mmmmff.”

Luffy just stared at them for about fifteen long seconds, then when they broke off the second time he jumped over to them, eyes shining.

“Wow, that was really good, Nami!” he exclaimed. “You got it right the very first time, turning your head so that the nose feels good instead of getting in the way! I didn’t get that until the third time!”

“Hey, you– !” Usopp growled at him; while normally proud of his nose, he evidently didn’t appreciate hearing it discussed like this. Nami preened a bit. Usopp’s face set in a determined “I’ll-show-you” expression as he started to kiss her back more intently. Pretty soon Luffy joined in and there were a few busy minutes, full of hasty fumbling and tentative gropes, shoving and elbowing and low mutters of protests and excuses, lips and fingers going every which way and a general shortness of breath and sweatiness all over, the pace increasing with an urgency as if they might not want to give themselves the chance to stop and think things over. 

But after a while Usopp did manage to pull himself back slightly from the others’ arms. “W-wait a minute!” he managed to splutter. “Wait just a goddamn minute here, young Nami! Do you WANT Sanji to chop us up with a meat cleaver, or whatever he’ll use?”

“No, we’re just kissing...” mumbled Luffy, “...so it’s okay...”

Usopp glanced at him. “Is that really something you should say with your fingers all tangled up in someone’s bra strap?” he muttered. 

“No, I don’t want that!” said Nami, addressing Usopp. “But I’m making a point here! –Luffy, if you tear that I’m taking the money for a new bra directly from your food budget. With interest.”

“What – wait – what do you mean a point, what kind of –” Usopp flailed around a bit, but didn’t try very hard to break out completely from Luffy’s rubber arms and Nami’s strong grip. “I mean, a point about what?” he gave up, right as Nami was gently removing his bandanna and Luffy was tugging at his sash. 

Nami kissed him again. Taking strength and giving strength all at the same time; wanting to make sure the two of them would always be there. She could be the glue if she had to be, as long as she would not be left out.

From somewhere in her mind she had a sense of herself as if she were a tree, young and fast-growing and yet with a great stubborn strength in her limbs; roots and twigs and branches all reaching out, turning and twisting like vines around each of the others, all of them. 

Tying them all closer and starting with these two: she’d reached out and gathered them in, and it felt like she had the sun and the moon in her hands. Except, except both of them were burning.

“Balance,” she mumbled softly. She took a deep breath, and plunged in. 

 

*

Since they were all very inexperienced, it probably wasn’t hours later when everyone felt satisfied and sleepy and exhausted and a bit sore and it really felt like over for now, thank you, even Nami agreed – but it sure _felt_ like hours. Luffy fell asleep for a little while and Usopp was feeling rather drowsy himself and none of them really felt like getting up and moving for a good while longer. 

It was nice just to lie there on the floor and stare at the ceiling and not talk and not really think much. But it wasn’t like you could do that all day. At least Usopp couldn't.

“...So does this mean we have to seduce Sanji now, too?” he muttered finally, right after Luffy had started to move his arms a bit and make waking-up sounds. Usopp was still looking up at the ceiling and his tone was only annoyed by half; the other half still felt a bit dreamy and detached.

"Mmm, maybe," mumbled Nami from where she was lying close to him, her head still resting on Luffy’s stomach. She kept making little circles in Usopp’s hair and drumming on his shoulder from time to time. "I'm not doing it all by myself anyway," she went on lazily. "He'd be im- _poss_ -ible after that... I'm fairly sure." 

“So _you_ say... Goddamnit, I am _never_ going to get any work done.” Usopp sighed. Only now did he realise that he’d had one hand lying on Nami’s right thigh for quite some time now. He removed it carefully even though she obviously didn’t seem to mind. Maybe she just hadn’t noticed either. 

“Mhm...” mumbled Nami sleepily.

“Mhmm...” the just-about-conscious Luffy agreed, one hand still resting on Usopp’s stomach. Usopp thought about removing it, but then he started stretching Luffy’s fingers instead, which was always fun. 

“...what kind of work?” asked Nami after a minute or two of silence, while idly trailing her fingers up and down Luffy’s other arm, making him laugh now and then. 

“Um... oh, right, I was going to practise combination attacks with Franky sometime today... or was that tomorrow?”

Luffy perked up. “Hey, that sounds like fun...”

Nami sniggered. “That sounds kinda dirty, actually...”

Usopp gawked at her. “Don’t – don’t say things like that!” He clamped his hands over his eyes. “Now I’m going to imagine... aaargh!! Stop doing that, stupid imagination!” Looking up at the ceiling beseechingly, he wailed, “Why, why, why is our navigator such a pure-blooded devil?”

Nami laughed, then stretched where she lay. “Probably because our sniper is way too fun and easy to get going,” she said happily. She rolled over towards Usopp and lifted up her head to look at him, her chin resting in one palm. “Anyway,” she continued, “I didn’t say it’s something we have to do this very minute.”

Usopp glared up at her, not mollified. “Well, I don’t want to give him the time to start planning how to best chop us up with a carving-knife!” 

“You know,” Luffy said in a sleepily thoughtful way, “Sanji wouldn’t really do that. He’d just kick us to death, instead.”

“Oh, so that’s BETTER?” Usopp twisted around a bit and reached over to whack Luffy on the shoulder. “This is all _your_ fault, you know!”

“Huh? What did I do?” said Luffy, surprised.

“You started it! You started kissing me and then... you know... things suddenly went further than before...” He blushed furiously. 

“No that was you!” protested Luffy. “I was just kissing like normal!” He frowned, looking a bit puzzled. “...Uh, I think?”

“It must have been you,” grumbled Usopp. “Why would I be so crazy?”

“Well even if it was, you didn’t try to stop me!”

“Neither did you with me, and you’re the captain!”

“So what? That’s no excuse!” 

Usopp stuck out his tongue at him. “Yes it is! It’s a great excuse!” 

Nami hit them both on the head, not very gently. “Stop it, you guys. You know, I’ve been thinking – how much _have_ you two been making out behind my back all this time, anyway?”

Luffy shrugged. “A bit? Dunno, I haven’t been counting.”

“Ah-ha!” Usopp pointed at Nami excitedly. “So you didn’t know either! Not so all-knowing as all that, after all!”

The navigator reddened. “Don’t be a jerk,” she snapped, then sniffed loudly. “Anyway, I had my suspicions... But it seems so odd that you haven’t been caught till now. I mean,” she continued in an explanatory tone, “with both of you being such morons.” 

“Thanks for that...” muttered Usopp. Then his eyes widened and he grabbed his head with a shocked expression. “...AAAAHHH...” he groaned. “I just had a horrible thought.”

“What??” said the other two right away, alert and concerned.

Usopp swallowed. “What if,” he said in a hollow tone, “what if the others have actually known all this time, about all three of us, and just never bothered to tell us?”

Nami blanched. “That IS a horrible thought.”

Luffy blinked, looking confused. “What? That’s great, isn’t it? Then they WON’T be angry or jealous or anything like Nami said, and Sanji won’t try to kill us!” His face screwed up in thought. “Hey, should we still seduce him?”

“I didn’t say it was true!” exclaimed Usopp, ignoring that last bit. “It was just a horrible thought!” He calmed down, then cast Nami a suspicious look. “Anyway, what about _you_ two?”

She smiled sweetly at him, putting one hand on her hip. “All detailed in my secret diary,” she purred. “A hundred thousand berries and you’ll get to read... some of it.”

She looked very nice like that. His face grew really red and he had to look away for a moment. “Sanji might not even want to, y’know,” he muttered, twiddling his thumbs. “Not with guys involved, I mean.”

“Fair enough,” said Nami, shrugging. “But if he turns us down, he can’t complain about feeling left out.”

“Like he’d ever turn _you_ down,” said Usopp. “But even if he wants to – it stops with him, right? I mean, we can’t really... not with the whole crew... I mean, we can’t, can we?”

“I dunno,” said Luffy, who’d picked up Usopp’s goggles from the floor next to him and was playing with them now. “Could be cool to try,” he observed. He looked thoughtful for a moment. “Don't know if Zoro's gonna want to, though... That's not really his style.”

“Well, maybe not when it comes to you,” said Nami slowly. “I think you’re too important to him. But even if that's true, he might still want to with someone else.”

“Huh. You think it's like that?” Usopp blew away a curl of hair that was obscuring his eyes. “Zoro’s weird, then.” 

She raised an eyebrow. “Oh, like you’re not? Face it, all of you boys are weird. And Robin is at least _half_ -weird.” She leaned back on the floor and Luffy’s stomach with a smug expression. “ _I’m_ the only normal one here, really.”

Usopp rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right. Sure. Not hardly.”

“Zoro is Zoro,” said Luffy decisively as he put his hat back on his head, “and Usopp is Usopp, and Nami is trying to sleep with everyone now–” 

“Hey, I’m not!” yelled Nami. “Will you get what I’m saying, already?! It’s about balance, dammit!”

“–and I’m getting hungry,” Luffy finished, jumping to his feet. “Let’s go see what’s for dinner, okay?!”

“Hey, don’t go without clothes, dumbass,” Usopp pointed out, getting up as well and pulling at Luffy’s arm, as if that would help. “What have I gotten myself into?” he muttered. 

And yet there was a part of him that felt like he hadn’t gotten into anything new, that he – mind, body and heart – was still right where he’d been yesterday and the day before and so on; that he was where he would always be as long as he kept sailing the seas, which felt pretty much like the same as forever. 

“That’s _my_ line,” said Nami, also getting to her feet and scouting around for her clothes, but when Usopp turned to look at her she was grinning widely. “And _don’t_ you go within twenty feet of the kitchen before taking a shower,” she told Luffy, putting panties and shorts back on. “I’ll be nice and let you boys go first for once.” 

She did up the buttons on her shirt and patted her captain on the shoulder, then stood back and put her hands in her pockets. She looked utterly relaxed and content, like a cat taking a nap in its favourite sunlit spot. Her hair was all ruffled and dishevelled – she probably figured it was no use trying to make it look right since she was going to wash it anyway. When her eyes were shining like that, thought Usopp, looking away as he put his overall back on, you almost felt like you could forgive her all her devilish ways if you could only manage to make that one really good drawing of her. 

“Whatever!” said Luffy, having impatiently put vest and trousers and sandals back on. “Okay, then! Here we go!” And he opened the door and was off, running towards the bathroom at high speed.

Nami looked out through the door after him, another wide grin on her face. “This is so stupid, isn’t it,” she remarked, sounding like she was only thinking out loud to herself. She shook her head and started to giggle. “I mean, _really_ stupid. But who knows?” She shrugged and smiled to Usopp again. “It might actually work.”

And as he didn’t quite feel brave enough to say, ‘You were just completely making up all that stuff about balance, weren’t you?’ – and he rather doubted he’d ever be that brave – Usopp simply nodded and smiled back at his crewmate, before turning to leave as well. 

She reached out and held him back for a moment or two on the doorstep, leaning over to give him a quick peck on the nose. Then she shoved him out onto the sunlit deck and stepped back into her study. 

Five steps on and he turned to look back, and he didn’t know if they’d both been infected with some strange Luffyesque virus in the head or what, but for some silly reason both of them felt compelled to wave.


End file.
